“Often when we find ourselves at a crossroad in our faith, rethinking everything from church to scripture to family to art to politics to science to prayer, we think we have only two options: double down or burn it down.”
–Sarah Bessey, A Rhythm of Prayer: A Collection of Meditations for Renewal.
For a long time, I thought that faith was black and white. There was a “right” way and a “wrong” way to be Christian, and the “wrong” way wasn’t Christian (even if you identified as such). I believed (and was taught) that the Bible was infallible, consistent, and the only book anyone would ever need for comfort and guidance. My thoughts on this have slowly changed, and I don’t know what precipitated it. I feel more kinship with non-Christians than the Christians who weaponize their faith and exclude others based on their interpretations of texts written thousands of years ago.
Initially, it felt so wrong even to wonder if the things I believed weren’t true. Doubt was something to be squashed immediately, not pondered or (God forbid) entertained. But doubt can be a tool for creation and adaptation. It can be a tool for learning. Even if our questions are misguided (the apostles’ questions sometimes were), they can provide insight into our thought processes, beliefs, and biases.
For me, God’s love isn’t conditional on beliefs, background, race, sexual orientation, history, or any other nit-picky thing we can think of. Differences are not threatening or wrong. I want to learn and grow, and I desire reconciliation and restoration. It wouldn’t necessarily be a return to the way it was before but to something better.
Would Jesus want to know whether someone is or is not Christian before speaking with them, befriending them, or loving them? One of the fundamental beliefs most Christians forget is God’s vastness; God is far above what we humans can comprehend. This idea is often abused by those in power (those supposedly closest to God).
These are the thoughts I’m kicking around in my head. God shows us love and leads us on a path of change, growth, and stasis is not a part of that plan. It’s okay not to have answers, and I argue that the more we cling to our own answers, the less able we are to see the world around us. God is more than a book, a building, or a creed.
Citations
Bessey, S (Ed.). (2021). Rhythm of Prayer: A Collection of Meditations for Renewal. Crown Publishing Group, The.